Dressadayinmay was a mix of emotions for me. More fun than I anticipated, but also difficult; as each gloomy day in May continued to bring wind & rain. DADIM was a diversion for me. There was already a storm in my personal life that was brewing (along with the weather) and I wanted something positive to focus my energy on.
To dress up each day was a coping mechanism. Coping has many elements: it is needed for the day to day functioning; it gives you a little say over a little piece of your life. It allowed me a decision making capacity. Coping in general, gives a focus, opposite of the crisis surrounding you. It allows a place for where your energy can go and be constructive. Handling crisis is often triage – a lot of external energy and little impact. I know this well as a crisis social worker; I am putting out fires all day while the forest continues to burn around me. It is exhausting.
It is also worthwhile. I was able to divert away from the pain by putting on a smile (or a dress). To cope allows a victory, over an otherwise crushing blow. It is resilience and determination in the face of a dark enemy. “I will not go down today!” It is an ageless battle cry. It is a purposeful act, a tactical maneuver. Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world (1st j.4:4). To act on faith, is faith.
But it remained a mixed emotion, most days, because behind the dress – is a women in pain. Over the painful elements I had no control. There was no power in a dress that mitigated the circumstances I was in. I am forever changed. But, I will not go down today!
As in most difficult circumstances, there was grace for each day, and unexpected support! So many friends praised my efforts, many joined in for a day or more. My husband is absolutely fabulous! He calls me “the pick of the litter” and bragged about my beauty with every picture he took! He knew what I was doing, in spite of the negative and he was/is an ardent supporter. I love him so much. My children helped me learn about blogging, and I learned a lot in a dress! I gained support from West Coast to East Coast and I feel a big welcome in Central TX. My students loved my dress decisions – even in the cold.
In spite of or because of, I don’t know which, but DADIM saved me this Spring. Thank you!
